two injections in two minutes. OUCH!

well it didnt really hurt that badly. kinda like red ant bites. and i'm only feeling the after effects NOW(10 hrs later).

something very peculiar was told to me today.

and so, amin tells me 'eh 'din, you know yesterday(or i cant remember which day he mentioned) clare came in and said 'why adin never msg me anymore'.

and i'm there sitting on the sofa 'what the hell.. NOW she notices??'

but in all honesty, it's very misleading. ok, say one day during study and/or exam period, i decide to chat with clare on msn. i say 'hey!' as usual, and no reply comes out. so i thought, nevermind.. maybe she's studying.

the next few following days, i kinda hardly chat with her. for one reason why is that i don't really bother with people who don't have the decency to at least reply. or even if you're busy, just tell me you're busy. it'll only take up 1minute of your time.

back to the story. so i barely chat, or talk to her for the past few weeks. then suddenly she exclaims to amin about why i don't msg her no more.

COME ON. i'm not the type of guy who keeps pestering a person to reply me asap. i leave people to their own personal space. and when she said that to amin, i kinda got abit mad.

i mean, it's the exam period. if you don't reply me or something, i'm having the mentality that you're studying or something. so i won't bother you. in the case of sms-ing her, it's the same thing. i'll give a person space and time to study for their exams, cause i know not everyone's like me and slacks as he/she studies.

so really, if you're reading this clare, i'm just typing what i feel is the current scenario now. the reason why i don't msg you no more is that it's the exam period, and i'll let you be, cause i know you're the studious type. so yea, it kinda seems like i'm the bad one in this scenario, which i'm not. and i have every reason NOT to be associated with you at this period of my life.

i don't know.. i'm a very confusing person. i don't know what got into me, don't know why i fell for you. if it's just another one of my infatuations.. i don't really know. but at the rate this is going.. ok forget it.

too much has been said here. i'd better just leave it as it is.

:)

EXAMS ARE FRIGGIN OVER BABY!!!!

first thing i've did as part of my newly-gained freedom: go home! hahahahaha.

well judging by the fact that everyone else still has papers, or still have school, that's basically the only thing i can do now.

since i won't be around for about 2 weeks, i'm just gonna have a brief timeline on what i'm about to do.

23rd - *gulp* medical checkup for cambodia trip. i hate injections.. :/
27th - a full day back in school to learn the cambodian language. among a few other things.
28th-30th - first aid course. WHAT DO I NEED A FIRST AID COURSE FOR!!

2nd september - BON VOYAGE! i will so NOT miss anyone.

:)

i am NOT ever gonna go to sch on a sunday ever again.
it's very degrading.

imagine a place, with only a number of people enough to form 2 soccer teams. all the shops closed, and only you in a room studying. peace and quiet, i know.. but.. awfully TOO quiet for my liking.

sometimes i come to wonder.. do i have the gift of foresight? it's a longshot, but it seems so.

every once in awhile, i dream of something. it feels real, like any other dream. but it's a realistic dream, like it could and/or would happen, not like those nonchalant dreams of monkeys in suits serving you coctail, no.

then maybe in a few days, or weeks later, when you're out in the real world, it actually happens, and you have a sudden sense of deja-vu. it's very creepy sometimes, 'cause how in the world would you dream of something that might happen in the future, and yet it really happens?

but oh well.. i ain't like isaac mendez or something. my so-called 'foresights' are very normal things, like eating some food, or out with someone. very peculiar, indeed..


i've been sober for half a year and it sucks.

shit my last post was on 1st of august.. damn i'm real slow. hahaha.

well i'm pretty banged-up today from yesterday's training. first one after 3 weeks and i was pretty out of the fitness game.

first i slid, got my foot exposed to a nice set of bladed studs, which hurt like shit but i decided to walk it off. BAD MOVE.

it got worse, then i forgot to lock my ankle and i slipped, with my entire weight on my ankle. OUCH.

but surprisingly that one was easier to walk off. hahaha. :P

then, 2nd half, i got my toe exposed to another set of studs, and the after effects of not training for 3 weeks came in.. i pulled a muscle on my right groin. so basically my entire right leg was gone!

struggled back home, lay down and had one of the not so bad, but restless nights.
i had all the intentions to run today but the weather hates me today. haha.

:D

chances of me going to cambodia are VERY VERY slim all of a sudden.
oh well.

she wanted a lift home today.
kinda weird for her to be asking me this, since i've been trying to avoid her for a full.. day and a half.

i wanna forget about her, forget about trying to go for her.
but time and time again she'll pop up in my mind.
and it's not gonna get any better if she continues this charade..

confusion, version 2.

Adin-Arif Heng
20
7th August


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